Sexting

Sexting is a portmanteau of the words "sex" and "texting". It describes the sending and receiving of self-produced, revealing recordings via computer or smartphone. Among young people, the terms "pics" or "nudes" are also in common use.

The phenomenon of "sexting" has had a negative image in recent years due to its judgmental portrayal. In addition, it was mainly the failed cases that made headlines. It was mainly the risks and side effects of sexting that were emphasized (e.g. unauthorized sharing of the recordings, bullying and social exclusion). Educating about the risks is important, but in fact sexting can also be without consequences and does not have to be evaluated negatively per se. It can be part of modern intimate communication if the participants are old enough, know each other well enough, behave fairly and respectfully, and observe some important aspects.

Young people now prefer to communicate with each other online, get to know each other, exchange ideas, maintain friendships and love relationships. Experiences with relationships and sexuality are also made online. So it happens that people also share intimacy and intimate self-made recordings. Sexting can be interpreted as a new form of intimate communication that takes place consensually between people. By no means everyone tries it out, but when they do, sexting is used....

• for self-expression: How do I want to be, can I also be "sexy"? How does that come across to others?
• as proof of love or to maintain a relationship: sexting recordings are sent as a sexy gift to the partner, for example, or to the crush as proof of trust.
• for mutual sexual arousal.
• for getting to know each other, flirting.
• as a response to a received sexy picture. So you also send a sexting picture of yourself because someone else has sent a picture before.

Sometimes it's very hard to get into a conversation about a topic like "sexting." Here's some food for thought on how to address the issue.

Before you talk about "the teens," talk to them. Instead of judging them for their actions, seek to talk with young people. There are very different attitudes about how to deal with sexting, and you should reflect on them. The reasons for sexting are varied and not every young person has long wanted to do it. It helps most for a trusting relationship if you signal that you approach the topic neutrally and openly.

Also talk to young people about the prevailing media role models and the different gender role expectations. Encourage them to question these and think about what the recordings convey. Also reflect on your own perceptions about media role models and be sensitive to how difficult it can be for young people to assert themselves against the existing "behavioral templates."

Make it clear that people should never take pictures of themselves if they feel uncomfortable doing so. Saying no is the only right thing to do then. The pressure to go along can be enormous. Many young people have a good sense of what they want and don't want, and they also know the rules about taking pictures. Nevertheless, these rules can quickly be thrown overboard if, for example, you're in love or bow to peer pressure. Therefore, encourage young people to trust their gut instincts.

Make it clear that they will never forward revealing recordings of others. That is unfair and punishable by law. Young people actually know the most important rules, such as the "right to one's own image," but time and again these boundaries are overstepped.

Take a clear stand when people are condemned for making intimate recordings. Make it clear that the injustice is in the forwarding of the recordings and not in the creation of a revealing image. Encourage young people to stand up for affected people.

When sexting goes wrong, for example when recordings are distributed without being asked, those affected often feel helpless and exposed. In the following, we show possible courses of action.